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Archive for the ‘The Media Ate My Brain’ Category

Hey Weekly Times

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It is neither big nor clever to make light of the important issue of industry standards for grass-fed beef.

Weekly Times back page 20-01-10

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Written by Your Friends

January 20, 2010 at 11:11:11

Where there is a Will!

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BREAKING NEWS

WHETHER meeting dignitaries, greeting admirers and celebrities or just chatting happily with children, Prince William is definitely his mother’s son.

But probably not his father’s son, right, The Age? Show some respect. This is Royalty we are talking about.

Aboriginal leader Mick Mundine said the Prince’s visit had been amazing.

“It’s such a blessing. You’d be amazed, he’s such a respectful young man,” he said. “He’s got the heart of his mother.”

Really? Didn’t it get all smooshed up in the accident?

Written by Your Friends

January 20, 2010 at 08:08:08

Where there is a Will… is a headline you can expect to see shortly. A lot.

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A few things occur while one is reading Jill Singer’s latest column from the Herald Sun.

Thing One.

On the Herald Sun website, her byline is given as Jilly Singer. Is the error online, or in the paper? Hopefully in the paper.

Thing Two.

Importantly, he seems to have a sensible head on his shoulders. Apart from a few minor episodes with one cocktail too many, William has barely slipped up in public.

It’s a pretty remarkable record when you think of the rest of his family Prince Philip rarely has his foot out of his mouth, Fergie rarely had her foot out of someone else’s mouth and Princess Anne presents as a species prone to foot and mouth, more interested in hoofed creatures than her fellow bipeds.

That seems unfair to Princess Anne – she’s as bad as the rest because she likes horses? How does liking horses constitute “slipping up in public”?

Is Jill hinting at a darker side of Our Favourite Princess?

Written by Your Friends

January 14, 2010 at 08:08:08

Avatar fans feeling upset, downbeat, unhappy.

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This just in.

The futuristic blockbuster from director James Cameron tells the story of a corporation trying to mine for a rare mineral on the planet Pandora after Earth’s resources have been depleted.

The humans clash with the natives – a peaceful race of blue-skinned creatures called the Na’vi who live in harmony with nature.

Fans of the film have flooded the internet to express their distress at realising they will never be able to visit the utopian planet.

On one website, Avatar Forums, the topic “Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible” has more than 1,000 posts.

Ivar Hill, a 17-year-old fan from Sweden, wrote on a similar site: “When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed grey. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning … It just seems so meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

Isn’t that a fairly typical emotional state for a Swede?

On another website, a user known as Mike was even more acutely affected. He wrote: “Ever since I went to see Avatar I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them.

“I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in Avatar.”

Avatar fans suicidal because planet Pandora is not real, Telegraph, 13/01/10

Jinxed, a Perth-based user of the Australian 300 ZX Owners’ Association forum, says what we’re all thinking:

lol,stupid emo avatar fans

i know how they feel though, cause after watching “the fast and the furious” i really wanted to buy a black honda civic coupe with green neons

Written by Your Friends

January 14, 2010 at 08:08:08

Thoughts on A Man In A Parka Yelling About Illuminati Satellites by Cam

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Terry McCrann is a bit concerned about the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme.

THAT was a day that will live in infamy and insanity and inanity.

We had a prime minister who declared economic war on his own country. And an opposition leader who spent the rest of the day trying desperately to make it unanimous. Finally, succeeding. Or, perhaps not.

As I wrote yesterday this is one case where the devil is not in the detail.

So making the detail of the Emissions Trading Scheme seemingly ‘better’ is without the slightest merit. And indeed is worse even in its own distorted terms.

Blah blah blah blah…

Because all that so-called assistance doesn’t alter the basic reality of the ETS and the government’s overall Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme.

What’s in a name? Digressing, one really wonders how Kevin Rudd and his co-destroyer Penny Wong can literally live with themselves, as they spread the same ‘pollution’ every breath of their lives.

Yes, Terry, the true crime is that they breathe… We shall do your bidding, Terry. Give us the word, Terry.

Coming from the leader of a country whose entire economy is built on carbon-based energy and the export of carbon-based products, it is criminally – there really are no other words for it – insane.

That’s right, Terry. It’s the Prime Minister who has gone insane.

In the context of my opening reference, it is as if Rudd himself had launched the planes on our Pearl Harbor, our economy.

Wait a second… wasn’t the Bombing of Darwin our Pearl Harbour? Which would make Pearl Harbour the American CPRS. But how did the Japs even know about greenhouse emissions?

Written by Your Friends

November 25, 2009 at 10:10:10

Thoughts on Hang On A Second! by Cam

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The Herald Sun reports:

THE first brain scans of Trishna and Krishna since they were separated have fuelled hopes the Bangladeshi orphans have come through their marathon operation in good health.

The full results of the scans would be known on Thursday, but guardian Moira Kelly said the tests had gone extremely well.

An emotional Ms Kelly said she had high hopes for the still sedated twins, 24 hours after they were separated during miracle surgery at the Royal Children’s Hospital.

All she needed was a “raspberry” kiss from her little Krishna to know everything would be fine.

– Grant McArthur, Herald Sun, 19/11/09

That is just adorable.

But hang on a second! Look at this headline:

Positive signs for world’s favourite twins

I rather shouldn’t think so.

Australia's Favourite Twins

Sir David and Sir Frederick Barclay, Still The World's Favourite Twins After All These Years

Written by Your Friends

November 19, 2009 at 08:08:08

Thoughts on Under-Age Drinking by Cam

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Oh man, under-age drinking was the best, wasn’t it? It was pretty good.

These days when I get drunk with teenage girls I get all sorts of hassle, but in the halycon days of my youth…

Anyway, I think we can all agree that babies should not be drinking beer.

Not today. Not tomorrow.

Bella, 7 months old, and only 24 hours away from crippling alcoholism

RAUNCHY baby rompers emblazoned with “I’m a tits man”, “I’m bringing sexy back” and “Milk today, beer tomorrow” are still on sale three months after retailer Cotton On promised to withdraw them.

 Family advocates are upset the company appears to have ignored community outrage generated by the tot tops, and are calling for a boycott of retailer Cotton On.

Kids Free 2B Kids director Julie Gale this week found the risque rompers at a Cotton On store.

“I looked at the ‘I’m bringing sexy back’ T-shirt and said to both sales assistants I thought this had been withdrawn. They both ummed and said: ‘Aah, no, not that one’,” Ms Gale said.

“It’s ratbag behaviour and an excellent example of ignorance and irresponsible corporate behaviour.

“They said they would withdraw slogans with references to drugs … are they so clueless that they don’t understand that alcohol is a drug?

 

Still, let nobody say the Herald Sun is not fair and balanced. The other half of page 27 is devoted to these festive bargains:

Written by Your Friends

November 19, 2009 at 07:07:07