Gather Around Me

Making All Of Your Dreams Come True

Cam’s Cannibalism Thought Of The Day

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Okay, so I guess that mutual cannibalism didn’t really take off.

I know – it’s crazy, right? The internet was supposed to be mutual cannibalism’s white knight. Head over to Craigslist, punch in ‘Anyone interested in me having a munch on their gizzards,’ and Bob is your uncle. Or somebody’s uncle. He was a stew now, that is the point.

But that didn’t happen. What went wrong?

I think it is because you need two people to make this thing work. An eater and an eatee.

First off, you are already going to have more eaters than eatees. Basically everyone has considered savouring the delicious gamey taste of human flesh before. Less people are like, “I would like to be murdered and served as slow-braised elbow with a red wine and blood reduction.”

IMBALANCE. And every time one of these beautiful love connections occurs the imbalance only grows.

SOLUTION:

Why do we have to murder all these eatees? Sufferers of Body Integrity Identity Disorder are more than happy to give up their limbs. Hop to it, BIID sufferers of the world, It’s time to step up to the plate.

Let’s take amputation out of back-alley surgeries and put it back in the kitchen – where it belongs.

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Written by Your Friends

March 25, 2010 at 03:03:03

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