Gather Around Me

Making All Of Your Dreams Come True

What Lies Beneath, by Ben

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Why has there been so little GAM activity of late? Why has the podcast gone on a mysterious and unannounced hiatus?

Cam says it is because he is “sick”, yet I doubt that any of our savvy followers believe this for one second. Why is Cam REALLY hiding himself away from the world, refusing to give of himself and refusing to live up to his obligations?

Some Possible Explanations For Cam’s Mysterious Disappearance:

1. Cam is actually a highly-regarded police informant whose amphetamine-dealing cohorts have recently discovered his grassing activities and vowed to cut him up good, thus forcing him into hiding.

2. Cam went home to the country and drank so much absinthe he has forgotten the way back to the city.

3. Cam, having managed re-unite to me with my estranged Uncle Hal, has undergone another Quantum Leap and is now inhabiting the body of a late-19th-century Chicago industrialist with a troubling secret.

4. Cam has admitted to himself that he hates me and finds my company impossibly objectionable but is too cowardly to tell me to my face so is feigning illness.

5. Cam is on a top-secret mission to South America to inject certain serums into spider monkeys in a complex attempt to solve the world’s food shortage.

6. Cam is actually the alter-ego of State Education Minister Bronwyn Pike and the reality of his exhausting secret double life is only now beginning to weigh on him.

7. Cam is dead, and his murderer has assumed his identity, but is forced to feign illness so as not to give the game away, and to disguise his thick Belgian accent.

8. Cam is dead, nad having ascended to heaven has discovered that entry is dependent on his convincing people to go on pointless errands to the chemist’s for him, in order to amuse the jaded and entertainment-starved Jesus.

9. Cam is not dead, but is being held captive in a car boot in a Brunswick garage, from where he can only send carefully coded Facebook and Twitter messages, knowing how closely he is being watched, desperately hoping someone will decipher them correctly and come to rescue him before his bayonet-wielding kidnappers carry out their promise to “make you purty”.

10. Cam is a magical fairy who must periodically return to Fairyland lest the non-magical atmosphere of our world age him too heavily and turn him to dust.

Which one do YOU think is correct?

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Written by Your Friends

February 23, 2010 at 03:03:03

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