Gather Around Me

Making All Of Your Dreams Come True

Responding to Letters in the Herald Sun with…by Ben

with one comment

Welcome to the latest edition of “Responding to Letters in the Herald Sun With…”

Today we are responding to letters in the Herald Sun with assumptions the subject matter is sexual perversions.

One language, one flag
SIR Edmund Barton in 1907 said on being Australian: “In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an Australian and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin.

“But this is predicated upon the person becoming in every facet an Australian, and nothing but an Australian … There can be no divided allegiance here.

“Any man who says he is an Australian, but Something else also, isn ’t an Australian at all.

“We have room for but one flag, the Australian flag…

“We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language … and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is loyalty to the Australian people!” This should be mandatory reading for all of our governments, who seem hell-bent on undermining what it is to be an Australian, and with the forecasts on immigration, things for Aussies will only get worse!

Alan Salter, Bentleigh

– Only referring to men, Alan? Are you suggesting that Australia become a homosexual paradise? Why do you need to use Edmund Barton as support for your sick erotic fantasies?

Rage against the machine

I CAN only imagine the “rage” Victoria will face in the future – appliance rage.

It will be caused by consumers using vacuum cleaners, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, TVs and other appliances in the hours of 1pm-7am to save on their electricity bills (“Power pique on way”, February 2).

How people who live in apartments will cope will be interesting, and because we will need more high-rise buildings to cope with the expected population growth to 35.9 million, the only people who will be able to afford to live in a detached house and use electricity during the day are the politicians who allowed, nay propagated, these idiocies to be foisted on the general public.

Verity Mesketti, Traralgon

– A bit obsessed about appliances, aren’t we Val? Are you afraid the government’s plans will put a dent in your daily lunchtime sessions with your electric friend? Afraid the cost of riding the pleasure bull will become a bit prohibitive?

You whore.

Unsuitable for children

I MOSTLY keep my TV viewing down to favourite sports and quality drama, and have a sneaky look occasionally at Survivor, which is a good laugh.

I happened to see some of My Kitchen Rules and after 15 minutes turned the TV off.

I really don’t understand why it is necessary to make food the subject of gross conduct when we have terrible problems with healthy diets for kids and adults.

Pete Evans and Manu Feildel are good chefs.

Why they are in this kind of show is puzzling.

Money, I suppose.

I did turn the TV back on for Simon Baker in The Mentalist, one of the few crime shows that is watchable without endless gore and totally mindless stuff fit for the garbage bin.

I use my DVDs a lot more for relaxation these days.

Josie Dorian, Aspendale

– I think you’ve got a filthy mind to always be seeing fornication in the simple act of cooking.

Retire Saigon to open zoo

AFTER spending 50 years “on the road” with Perry Bros Circus, and with a life expectancy of possibly 20 more years, lone elephant Saigon deserves to enjoy some measure of freedom and interaction with her own kind (“Our saddest elephant”, January 30).

Stardust Circus elephants Gi Gi and Ama were retired in 2008 and now live happily with other elephants at Dubbo Open Plains Zoo in NSW.

Saigon should join them.

Jenny Moxham, Monbulk

– Just desperate to get a glimpse of some hot elephant sex, aren’t you, Jenny, you voyeuristic hussy.


IF my daughter were to ask me if she should get a tattoo, I would say not to give up the gift of virginal skin lightly.

My mum didn’t have my initials on her ankle, grandma had no Chinese scroll cascading down her left breast and great grandma had no butterfly on her dowager’s hump. I ’m well, well pleased.

Dad, by taking this position, you will likely be called chauvinistic, authoritarian, paternalistic and patriarchal by Jill Singer, confirming you are on the right tram.

Female tattooing has become fashionably permanent (oxymoron noted),led by Angelina Jolie. Our girls are slavishly copy-catting Hollywood populist culture, embarrassingly so.

I know today’s girls will deny it, but did girl tattooing catch on when Chopper Read was the principal model of body art? Daughters, in five years you won’t like the sunglasses and shoes you covet today, and look at your mum ’s hairstyle in 1999 or her eyeliner in 1989. . . oh, my God.

Rebuttals welcome.

Peter Bresnahan, Chelsea

– Have fun with your grandma’s breast, did you Peter? And humping your great grandma? And constantly monitoring your daughter’s virgin skin? ENJOYING YOURSELF?

Untroubled ride on freeway

LET us give credit where credit is due – the widening of the Monash Freeway has been a marvel of engineering.

For the past two years or so, I have travelled daily on the freeway and, although there have been disruptions to traffic flow, the logistical achievements have been of a very high order indeed.

As a result of this, we now have a much more smooth-running system in place.

So, to all concerned, congratulations on a job well done.

Peter D. Surkitt Hawthorn

– “Easy ride”? EASY RIDE? That you could do such things on a freshly rejuvenated highway sickens me.

Tears on her first day

MY five-year-old granddaughter started school this week.

A staff member went into the prep class to ask how they were doing.

My granddaughter said she was OK, but, apparently with a roll of the eyes, added: “Don’t know how mum is. She cried all morning!” Andrea Hampton, Morwell

– Probably because of the sexual abuse you subjected her to, Andrea. Your own daughter! Don’t you feel dirty?


Written by Your Friends

February 3, 2010 at 03:03:03

One Response

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  1. I wonder what sort of DVDs Josie Dorian of Aspendale is watching.


    February 4, 2010 at 12:12:12

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