Gather Around Me

Making All Of Your Dreams Come True

Pickup Tips & Unsettling Pitchwomen & PODCASTS by Cam and Ben

with 3 comments

Hey babes,

Cam here. Ben and I had a brainstorming session in a greasy cafe last night. I said, “Ben, I think this cafe might be some sort of criminal front.”

Ben agreed. He felt it was suspicious that the staff seemed confused by people asking for delicious milkshakes.

My suspicions had been raised by the staff discussing criminal activities.

Then Ben said, “You should write something for the website we started.”

And I said, “Like what?”

And he said, “I don’t know, why don’t you promote the podcast?”

And I said, “Fine, I will!”

And he said, “Fine!”

Fine!

I don’t feel comfortable just shilling for our fantastic podcast though, so here are some unrelated goodies:

1. Pickup Tips.

HOLLYWOOD starlet Jessica Biel has advice for men struggling to find a date.

“No cheesy lines,” said Biel, who dates singer Justin Timberlake.

“A cheesy line is, ‘Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants?’ Just be yourself. That’s sexy when someone walks up and says, ‘You are interesting. I would like to take you out some place exciting’.”

– Biel tells men to be nice, Confidential, Herald Sun, 9/12/09

Yeah, that should do the trick and won’t make you seem like a serial killer at all.

Why not try some of these Gather Around Me classics, all of which have been tested on a real life woman:

Did you break your legs when you fell down from Heaven, or was it in some sort of industrial accident?

Do you have any STDs in you? Would you like some?

There’s a time-bomb in my pants, and it’s set to detonate at Half-Past-You!

Are you wearing space-pants such as an astronaut might wear, while in space? (Why do you ask, good sir?) Because your arse is ‘fly’. (Oh my lady-loins!)

2. Selling Pants.

Would you buy your pants from this woman?

I think I might be afraid not to. This could be a more effective marketing strategy than previously thought.

3. Podcast-a-loopa-a-be-my-baby.

Subscribe via iTunes!

Subscribe with your RSS machine!

Download an interview with a Secret Liberal Party source from Cam’s show on 3CR!

Download a podcast by Ben and Cam about The Radio, Minarets, and Sticks! Fascinating stuff? Yes!

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Written by Your Friends

December 9, 2009 at 07:07:07

Posted in Fireside Chats

3 Responses

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  1. I gots to make a correction re: the podcast, babes. In the fast paced world of improvised podcasting it is sometimes an unfortunate fact that you make mistakes.

    That’s showbiz, baby.

    CORRECTION:

    At one point I say that something is 5% of something, but it turns out that the real number is more like 1%.

    Your Friends

    December 9, 2009 at 10:10:10

  2. Greetings from Paris. This is a cool blog. Does anyone have any advice about staying out of the friend zone with girls? Honestly I’m sick of women telling me they just want to be friends. Perhaps I’m being too much of a nice guy?

    Nolan Vasque

    March 28, 2010 at 05:05:05

  3. You got to be more assertive, Nolan. If a woman tells you that she just wants to be friends you tell her that you can either be lovers or SWORN ENEMIES.

    Your Friends

    March 28, 2010 at 04:04:16


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