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Handy Child Rearing Tips by Cam

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Tip 1: When beating your child, it is essential to disassociate yourself from the beating. For example, one might use a wooden spoon or a switch. If no weapon is available, it can be helpful to anthropomorphise your hand to a certain extent.

There are two reasons for this. Firstly, if your child begins to associate you with pain, it may well be detrimental to your relationship. Secondly, they are less likely to report abuse if they do not fully associate it with you.

That is all the tips I have, really. And I stole that from To Train Up A Child – check it out for some more great ideas you can try out at home.

The reason I bring it up is that the old smacking debate has undergone a revival, following a child telling her teacher that her mother hit her with a spoon, and the teacher taking the politically correct step of being required to inform the authorities, who then took the incredibly politically correct step of explaining the concept of assault to the mother.

This story is fantastic, and I’ll tell you why.

1. A child was smacked with a wooden spoon. A classic mystery – why was the child smacked? Was it assault, or discipline? Where are the gems? The doctor’s wife’s priceless gems!

2. We got to hear what celebrities think about smacking:


Shane Warne uses “Harry the Hand, mate,” he “threaten[s] them with Harry the Hand.” And yet Harry the Hand is resting on his son’s shoulder, and he doesn’t seem the least bit concerned. In fact, if the patch on his shirt reading “PUNX” is anything to go by, young Mr. Warne is a completely out of control tweenage delinquent. So much for discipline, Shane.

Meanwhile, Kate Langbroek cannot “imagine hitting [her] children with a spoon” which suggests to me a lack of imagination. I, for example, can imagine spanking Kate Langbroek with a spoon. I can even imagine spanking John-Paul Langbroek with a spoon. He has, after all, been a very naughty boy.

Finally, we have Bronwyn Pike. “Did I smack my children? Yes I did from time to time, I probably wouldn’t now.”

Really? Now that they’re adults? That’s awfully generous of you.


Written by Your Friends

October 16, 2009 at 04:04:16

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