Gather Around Me

Making All Of Your Dreams Come True

Thoughts on Would You Believe I Was Looking For A Great Deal On A Same Day Loan by Cam

with one comment

I needed up to $5000 – fast! I have a bad credit history, okay!

And I didn’t want to have to put up my car or my many white goods as security.

Where else but the Herald Sun Classifieds was I going to get an Unsecured Loan and some Instant Cash to pay off my crippling phone sex debts?

Wait! Let’s start over.

I was looking at the phone sex ads, because they are rather eye-catching and located right across from the public notices. The reason I look at the public notices is because I like to look out for messages meant for spies and eavesdrop on couples who can’t trust each other’s mothers to pass messages on. Sadly, this is the real reason.

I am not sure I want to call any of these numbers.

BORED divorcees 190 222 7853

$1.95pm mob/pay extra

Surely people would prefer to call INTERESTED divorcees? Or ENGAGED (BUT NOT TO BE MARRIED, THE OTHER KIND OF ENGAGED) divorcees.

COUGARS wanting to get loose

1902 250 509 $3.30pm mobex

Um, no thanks.

EXTREME Lesbian Confessions

1902 299 284 listen now

$1.87 pm pay/mob ex

“Hey baby, I always wanted to bungee jump”

“Sorry?”

“Yeah, I think my girlfriend and I are going to vacation in Queenstown next year.”

MISTRESS WHIPLASH

1902 229 654. $2.92pm pay/mob ex.

“Oh OH OHHHH….

… my neck is killing me. This is really annoying. This guy ran his fucking Honda Civic right up the back of me. Took off, didn’t even get his number.”

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Written by Your Friends

October 9, 2009 at 07:07:07

One Response

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  1. Ain’t that the truth. Boy.

    Your Friends

    November 2, 2009 at 09:09:09


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